Hill Family Estate Merlot

2010
Beau Terre Vineyard
NAPA

83% Merlot, 8% Cabernet Sauvignon, 5% Malbec, 4% Petit Verdot
I should have maybe kept this a bit longer. It was good, but it was young. I bet it would be a big jump better a year from now. Still, it was enjoyable. I just don't think it equalled it's price yet. It tastes like a $20-something wine.

It had dark fruit flavor and quite a bit of oak flavor. I made Stead Au Poivre and found the oak to become hot, peppery oak following a bite of the tenderloin.

Quite a bit of time has passed I see since posting last. I had a  few great wines at Easter when my brother visited and we went shopping. I also was given a wine as a gift that was awesome with our Easter pork loin and garlic chutney. My husband was slightly efficient and immediately removed all empty bottles to the dump. I can no longer tell you of my two favorites from last weekend. Well, we take the bitter with the sweet.

Be this sunset soon forgotten
Your brothers left here shaved and crazy
We've learned to hide our bottles in the well
And what's worth keeping, sun still sinking
Down and down
Once again
Down and down
Gone again

Iron & Wine, Sunset Soon Forgotten

8.25 out of 10
14.5% alc. by vol.
$35 / 750 ml. bottle

Ravens Wood Zinfandel

2009
Vintner's Blend
Woodbridge,CA

We have had Ravens Wood Zin (probably Old Vine Zin more often) several times over the years, but drinking this vintage now made all the difference. I was amazed at the price for the flavor. The scent was wonderfully heady and the flavor rich with blackberry vanilla spice. Unfortunately, this was the last bottle on the shelf. Otherwise, this would be one to buy a case of in my opinion. Cheap, but delicious. We are calling this the Wine for a Blizzard. Tastes GREAT alone or with tomato sauce and garlic and oregano.

Due to a series of unfortunate events, I feel I have started 2013 off wrong. I am hoping it corrects itself soon. A few of my misfortunes just in the first few weeks of 2013 include losing my bank card in the Stop & Shop parking lot, getting into an accident that wasn't my fault with my beautiful hand-me-down car and having their insurance company continue to drag their feet on paying for the damage, and having my garage door break and the heavy, rusty spring and pulley clock me in the head as I tried to unlock the door to my kitchen. Now tonight I am experiencing my first blizzard as an adult (having to worry about things like wind damage to the house and outside vehicles). I pretty much slept and played through the Blizzard of '78 (you really don't realize how great it is to live with people much older than you who take care of things until you become one).

All of my winey complaining aside, I have an amazing friend who has struggled once again with breast cancer. She learned of her newfound diagnosis around Thanksgiving and lived with it through the holidays and through the most sad day of many of our lives, December 14, while being a wife, daughter, sister, friend to many and, most importantly, a mom of two small children. She underwent a double mastectomy and is truly someone to admire. Her blog is listed somewhere to the right of this page, Mom is Always Write. She is an amazingly strong and beautiful person who continues to inspire me and who never loses her wonderful sense of humor.

When you say it's gonna happen now
Well, when exactly do you mean?
See, I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

~The Smiths; How Soon Is Now?~

8.25 out of 10
13.5 % alc. by vol.
$9.99 / 750 ml. bottle

Dragon's Tooth Blend

2008
NAPA Valley Red
56% Malbec, 24% Cabernet Sauvignon, 20% Petit Verdot

*Please note that this is not a "budget" wine as our title suggests. From time to time I will review more expensive wines when given the opportunity to indulge. This is one of those times.


--Dark berry fruit flavors, smooth, baking spice oak finish--

My brother is here for Christmas - yay! He brought (4) bottles of red blends with him. We went through two bottles of this tonight with family and friends. I made a big pot of chili and we had a mish-mosh of appetizers that my mom brought left over from a gathering she had at her house the night before. As my brother said, pretty much everything we ate with this tasted better. We had spicy chicken wings which, followed by a sip of wine, the pepper really kicked into gear. We had aged Canadian Cheddar, meatballs, Carr's Wheat Crackers and Cheddar Melts, 5-layer Mexican dip, and finally, the chili. It all tasted good together. My favorite was a Hershey's kiss followed by a sip of wine. The milk chocolate flavor popped back into focus following a sip of the wine.

My brother purchased this wine for $44. However, we have since discovered on the internet, that this vintage is sold out. The price to purchase was in the $70's on average. He is thinking he is going to grab a few more bottles when he gets back to his state where he purchased these from.

It has been tough to feel like blogging. It has been tough to feel the Christmas Spirit. It has been tough to feel any seasonal joy. Every day I have the town of Newtown on my mind. There is so much raw emotion right there on the forefront of my thinking every day. I wake up daily feeling like it is a "normal" day for about one millisecond and then I remember that life has changed. I have connections through family and otherwise to (3) of the adults that were killed, and a second cousin is a neighbor to one of the little girls killed. Even if I didn't have any ties to any of the victims, this is a heart-wrenching event. Everywhere I go, I find people need to mention it, or talk about it. I have vendors at work from across the country who ask me when I talk to them how "we" are doing in our neck of the woods. I work two towns over from Newtown and pass through Newtown on my way to work. But many of my vendors do not know that. They just know I am in the same state and want me and others to know that they are thinking of us all.

We will never be able to make sense of what happened. There was really nothing that could have been done to stop it. Dawn Hochsprung had a good security system in place. It just wasn't capable of keeping out someone who really wanted to do harm. I still believe that good WILL triumph over evil in the end and we must not ever lose faith. Those children and teachers must not die in vain. We have to do our best to forge ahead, remembering them always, while paying closer attention to those children who might otherwise fall through the cracks.

I am a traditional Christmas song lover. I don't like anything that sounds like today's pop or has been given a mod  uptempo. I rarely listen to "new" Christmas music, with a few exceptions. Sting's "If on a Winter's Night" CD, Harry Connick Jr.'s song "When My Heart Finds Christmas", and Sarah McLachlan's "Wintersong" CD. I am a Gordon Lightfoot fan, and his 1967 song covered by both Sting and Sarah, "If on a Winter's Night" has always been one of my favorites. This year it has taken on new meaning. I can't help but think of the families who are missing their children when I listen to some of the lyrics.

I do believe that those teachers who perished are with the children who perished too. And I believe families will one day be reunited with their precious little lost loves. And for every act of evil, I believe there are way more acts of good. Wishing you all comfort and peace this Christmas, and hold close those who mean the world to you.

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are lifting
The morning light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are drifting
If I could only have you near, to breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
And to be once again with you
On this winter night with you 

--If on a Winter's Night by Gordon Lightfoot

This wine was given a rating of 94 by Wine Enthusiast.

8.5 out of 10
14.5% alc. by vol.
*$44 -$76 (depending on where you buy it) / 750 ml. bottle

Joh.Jos.Prum Riesling

1999
Wehlener Sonnenuhr 
Mosel-Saar-Ruwer
Germany

A few years ago, my uncle Bob turned my dislike of "sweet" Riesling into a quizzical quest to be more open to it. I don't remember what bottle we enjoyed that afternoon in the sun on his patio, as it was before my blogger days where I'd actually pay attention to labels in the hopes of a later review, but he served it with prosciutto wrapped melon and I was sold on that marriage. Yesterday afternoon, Thanksgiving Day, brought me back to the above sweet recollection. 
 
In keeping with tradition, in spite of my uncle's passing, we are still enjoying his wines on Thanksgiving. My aunt brought me Riesling from the Mosel region, as my uncle had done before on previous Thanksgivings to serve with appetizers. I made bacon wrapped scallops specifically to accompany this Riesling and it was outrageously good. This Riesling has wonderful aromas and tastes of pears and apricots. But followed by a bite of bacon-wrapped scallop, the sweetness cut out and a fantastic minerality became known to me. This was an excellent pairing. :)

So, after yesterday, I vowed I would get up this morning and eat healthy and go for a walk. So far, I got up and turned on some old jazz. I made Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls for my girls, with bacon and eggs. Simultaneously I began pulling out ingredients to make turkey soup today. To get to my onions and celery and carrots and shallots, I had to remove piles of leftovers from yesterday's dinner. That meant the chocolate cream pie had to come out. I had a sliver as I placed it on the counter (I figured it would make my coffee taste better). Then as the bacon was draining, I thought about the awesome Riesling and bacon-related pairing from yesterday and thought I should blog about it. To capture a bit more of that experience, I thought I should pour a half glass of Riesling and have it with a piece of bacon (9:30 a.m. mind you). As I continued savoring the two, I pulled pumpkin pie from the fridge and wondered what the Riesling would taste like when paired with the pumpkin pie, so I had a sliver of that. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't the same caliber as the bacon and scallops. Similarly, the bacon also was not as enjoyable alone with the Riesling as when the scallop accompanied it. As I continued pouring through the fridge and gorging myself on morning wine and confections with the occasional piece of bacon, Glenn Miller's Rhapsody in Blue came on and I began to reflect on the ever changing Thanksgiving Table gathering over the years. We had a few good years just a short while back where I could count on a regular crowd and I learned to love the feel of the togetherness with so many who mean so much. I began to rely on all the "regulars" and had such a shock when last year marked the first year that we lost so many and it changed the dynamic greatly.

Yesterday was a good day, though we did miss my brother who was unable to make it for the first time in years. That said, we gained my aunt back after being unable to make it the last two years. My mom and step-dad joined as they usually do, and of course my grandmother whose presence I have greatly appreciated over the years and I have found I don't ever want to not be at my Thanksgiving table, though sadly I know that too will change as everything must in this life. I lost my other grandmother last year and we had our first Thanksgiving last year without her being still here on earth. At the same time, last year was our first Thanksgiving after having lost my uncle and step-grandfather as well. So as we gathered this year, we were very cognizant of those we have loved and lost who used to adorn my table with their presence, and those who couldn't be with us for other means. But their presence was greatly felt among us I couldn't help but feel. We ate off of plates my deceased grandmother brought back from a trip to Japan years ago. We enjoyed my uncle's wine as we have continuously for so many years (even when he couldn't make it, he would still forward to me a case of wine that he picked out for each various phase of dinner from appetizers to dessert). And my grandmother brought her late husband's recipe of Rum Tiddlies she'd made in a big bottle of Mount Gay Rum, complete with fresh nutmeg grated into each glass. I reflected last night after all company had long gone, as I sat in my kitchen remembering (and missing greatly) the Thanksgiving nights when my late grandmother would stay and help me pull apart the turkey for making soup, on how the Thanksgiving Table is a metaphor for life itself. Life is ever changing, nothing stays the same for long, and the trick for us as humans is to learn to adapt to those changes, go with it, create new memories while savoring the old, all the time realizing that while change can bring emptiness and sadness or a longing for days gone by, at any given moment, change can also bring a new happiness or new wonderful memory to lighten our heart and can very much bring about those long lost good feelings from good days gone by. And in this way, it is as if past meets present, making the future brighter with hope.

When this doesn't happen again
We'll have this moment forever
But never, never again 

--Doris Day, "Again"


8.5 out of 10
8% alc. by vol.
$20/750 ml. bottle

Thanksgiving Day 2012 Wine Lineup

Joh.Jos. Prum Riesling, 1999, Mosel-Saar-Ruwer, Germany
Clos Fourtet Saint-Emilion Grand Cru, 1999, France
Turley Howell Mountain Zinfandel, 2008, Rattlesnake Ridge, St. Helena, California
Warre's Vintage Porto, 1994, Portugal

It is incredibly awesome to me that my uncle continues to provide me with exceptional wine experiences even though he no longer walks the earth. I miss him so very much at Thanksgiving especially, so it is bittersweet-wonderful to be able to continue to savor the delicacies from his cellar.

No matter where you are at in this life, richer or the poorest of the poor, happy or the saddest of sad, surrounded by loved ones or all alone or far away, look in your heart and find just one thing to be thankful for, even if it is just as simple as the sun is shining wherever you are. Bask in it, feel it's warmth on your weary bones and realize, even if on the slightest level, that that is something.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Rutherglen Rare Tokay

Calliope
RL Buller & Son
Australia

This was the dessert wine my aunt brought the night we enjoyed "The Problem Child". My aunt, who isn't necessarily a wine "fan", does enjoy ice wines and/or sweeter dessert wines. This treat was from my uncle's wine cellar. BIG flavors of: fig, caramel, baking spices.

Technically, this is a "muscadelle", unrelated to the "Muscat" family, but similar in that it is from a white wine grape with grape juice and raisin nuances.

I am NOT a fan of sweet or dessert wines. This particular evening, we were having snickerdoodle cookies for our dessert (a vanilla drop cookie with lots of cinnamon). Well, my aunt, my mother and I enjoyed our first sip of the Tokay prior to bringing dessert to the table. We each said "mmmm" in varying degrees, but definitely "mmmm" in general. I then picked up a snickerdoodle and took a bite. Uh-oh, I thought. I absolutely knew the next sip of Tokay was going to send me over the edge. It totally did - it was a match made in heaven. I informed my mother and my aunt that they were going to need to stop their conversation and bite into a snickerdoodle and then have a sip of the Tokay. There just were no words being produced from the three of us. We could only pronounce grunts like cave men.

Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight.
--I'm Looking Through You, Lennon-McCartney--


8.5 out of 10
18.0 % alc. by vol.
$40 / 375 ML

phantom

2009
Clarksburg, California
Old Vine Zinfandel, Petite Sirah, & Old Vine Mourvedre

What a difference a year makes. I had the 2009 last year and reviewed it. This is a year later, with the 2009 having remained bottled, and the smokiness that I so love is ALL there in the very first sip, and it lasts to the end. YES! Thanks to the Guy for a much needed surprise tonight.

This is my Halloween go-to. After the chaos of which child is going where and with who, and organizing pickups and sleepovers and trips to see grandma, this is my trick-or-treat upon my final return home.

8.5 out of 10
14.5% alc. by vol.
$19.99 / 750 ml. bottle

2007 Problem Child

2007
Linne Calodo
Red Zinfandel Blend
Paso Robles, CA

It has been a long time. I am sorry this is not a budget wine, though it is way better than the pricing on my last review. I do like to mix it up in case there are others who happen upon this site that partake in more expensive wines. And this is one of the last, more recent wines I've had. I have taken a hiatus lately and for awhile was drinking Rum Tiddlies and Margaritas only, when I felt like having a cocktail.

Several years ago, a co-worker mentioned how much he enjoyed this wine. I never came across it in any stores at the time. Toward the end of August, during a fabulous family gathering, my aunt brought this to our table. My daughter's beau (who we have all grown fond of) was leaving for college fairly far away. And my aunt and I were leaving the next day for Maine for a weekend memorial. My mother had us all over for dinner and it was one of those spectacular pivotal times when the stars aligned and a great time was had by all. It was bittersweet for my daughter and her beau and for me as I watched them laughing together and holding each other's gaze as they knew the morning's light would bring his absence after a summer spent together in the sun, and rain, and with family over dinners (and spent with Mom at the CAKE concert! YES!). It is one of my best recent dinner memories, and reminded me so much of a classic Thanksgiving gathering.

Back to the wine. My dear uncle had this in his wine cellar. I was SO excited to have it. It did not let me down. As a matter of fact, it probably tasted way better than when my co-worker had it originally, though I confess I don't recall the vintage of his. I am a blend fanatic. This is 72% red zin, 16% syrah, and 12% mourvedre (one of my favorite words to say and taste!). I tasted dark berry fruits, smoke, and some dark chocolate orange on the finish. It was awesome on its own. And it was very good with chocolate. I am beginning to wonder if it isn't mourvedre that adds the wonderful smokiness I pick up on in wine blends that contain it. Regardless, I would like more.  :)

One more thought: The alcohol content on this wine is quite high - I honestly didn't notice. Usually I am not a fan of high alcohol wines. This was just so very smooth it didn't matter.

9.25 out of 10
$55/750 ml. bottle
16% alc. by vol.

Kistler Sonoma

2006
No. 04585
California

Not a budget wine. Sorry about that. I required this. As the suggested drink time is from 2009-2015 I figured I was safe being 3 years out on either end.

I categorized this delicacy immediately upon first sip as "flowery" with intense minerality. Minerality is one of my favorites in a Chardonnay. In this particular wine, there is no oak flavor. There is no vanilla. Those are my other personal white wine go-to favorite flavors. Yet this was most excellent. As I rarely experience floweriness, I can't decipher what particular flower we are talking about here. Maybe a bit of honeysuckle?

I remember tasting honeysuckle as a kid with my friend Darren who lived across the street. He had a bunch of it in his yard. We used to shoot hoops together. We were like 6. His brothers were all much older and used to tease me for spending time with him. But we really got along well and I find myself wondering whatever happened to him. We moved away and I never saw him again. I remember Darren and I shooting hoops one morning and then we sat underneath his picnic table listening to my parents argue from across the street. They were really screaming at each other. Darren held a piece of grass between his fingers. He could blow through the blade and make that high-pitched sound. I never could. But I'd try. I told him I was scared and sad. He listened and felt sad with me. I felt really connected to him. We were just kids.

I am headed to Maine next weekend. I am speaking at my grandmother's husband's memorial service. He passed away last September and his service was held right away in CT. However, he led a whole other life in Maine. The island he lived at is holding a special memorial for him. I needed a little help from my uncle in my writing endeavors. So I opened a bottle of Kistler for the occasion. Life is short. Whatever will be, will be. Have FAITH that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. If it sounds like I am trying to explain that to myself, I am. Let it be.


When the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is
That I miss you so

A warning sign
It came back to haunt me, and I realized
That you were an island and I passed you by

--Chris Martin, COLDPLAY, "The Warning Sign"

9.5 out of 10
$119/750 ml. bottle
14.1% alc. by vol.

Hopkins Heritage Pinot Noir

Hopkins Heritage Pinot Noir
2010
Western Connecticut Highlands (nonetheless! Makes me feel like I could quite possibly be in the Scottish Moors or something - Dont'cha Know Lad and Lass?)

Many thanks to my buddy Guy for giving this to me to try. He handed it to me and said "Eh, it's okay." He got it for free. No worries, Mate. I don't expect a lot from the Highlands of Connecticut! But it is always welcome to try a different wine.

Not a lot of flavor here, but I didn't expect much. It is a slightly pale, see-through amber-red color. Rather weak, but when served with grilled pork loin marinated in balsamic, olive oil, garlic and freshly ground black pepper, I was able to taste some slight cherry-vanilla flavors that made it more enjoyable.


Some days I'm struck with sorrow
Need a place to hide
There's nowhere else you can put life
But way down deep inside

Take my hand and let me guide you
Take my hand when you're alone
Take my hand and let me guide you
Take my hand to lead you home

The GREAT Ben Harper (*sigh), "Take My Hand"


7.25 out of 10
12.5% alc. by vol.
 Price Unknown (Sorry - special edition freebie at their festival - probably $10-15)

Vitiano 2009

Cabernet Sauvignon - Sangiovese - Merlot Blend
Montecchio
Italia

I reviewed a Vitiano blend way back in 2008 (it was a 2005), from Umbria. I gave it a (gulp) 7.0. This 2009 Motecchio blend is an improvement. While it was fairly good alone, it tasted much better with dinner - roasted green beans with garlic and olive oil and organic ground turkey sauteed with garlic, thyme, olive oil and a little tomato-basil sauce.

This was much better than the last Vitiano I had a few years back. As it is in the 90's temp-wise, I was really hoping for a chilled white when the Guy called from the road and asked if I wanted any wine tonight. However, I knew the dinner I was making had some Italiano influences and I also knew he prefers red to a chilled white, so I told him to look for a dry Italian red if possible. This really did not disappoint, especially with dinner. There was some vanilla (which of course I am very partial to in my wine, whether red or white) and dark berry flavor. I initially found it to be dry but with a slight "grapey" flavor (which I don't like), but with the food it took on a more intense flavor with herb nuances. I LOVE herb flavor in my wine and it does indeed tend to sway my preferences.

So today I was happy to have the house to myself for the first time in a LONG time (way too long BTW). I was doing laundry and sorting through all the "clutter" for a good portion of my day. At around 4:00 I decided to take a break, grab an unsweetened iced tea (my fav drink next to a good wine), and made some guacamole. I went out into the heat and sat under my umbrella - there was a really nice breeze if you sat still. 

I called my grandmother who happens to be my last remaining grandparent (for a very important reason I believe). She didn't answer. I called her cell and her home phone. Then I just sat in silence. Then I thought about my Uncle Bob. Tomorrow is his birthday. He died last year, on the day of my deceased grandmother's memorial service, July 8th, 2011.  That made me think of her, my Nana. The day of her memorial service I received the devastating news of my uncle's passing. So I found myself out on my patio today having these feelings for my grandmother who passed because I never really "properly" mourned her at her service as it was only my much younger uncle I could think of (and for good reason as my grandmother was in her 90's and hadn't been herself in the good portion of a year and my uncle was so full of life who had two children just beginning their own family lives and careers). 

Anyway, I found myself feeling really sad and missing my grandmother - so much so that I was emotional and said out loud how much I wish I could call her and talk to her one more time. At that very  moment, my other grandmother called. It was like a divine intervention for me. Okay, call it silly if you are not open-minded. I happen to be very open-minded and am proud of it! For you see, my grandmother that passed I called "The Artist" (she was an undiscovered water color talent who put family first). My grandmother that I am blessed enough to still have here at 91 years old I (fondly) called "The Aristocrat" (she was wealthier and had more opportunities in life). They lived extremely different lives. And each responded to me as a child in very different ways. One was very demonstrative of her love (the Artist) and one was very matter-of-fact and seemed to be uncomfortable with feelings (the Aristocrat) - whether that was imagined by me or not will never truly be known. In a twist of wonderful irony  my "Aristocrat" called me within minutes of my breaking down in remembrance of my "Artist"and told me she loved me - not something she would have done years ago. But it is something I was always used to hearing from my "Artist" who passed and I was missing and always miss in my life as the years continue to pass. So, yes it was ironic, but it also was a testament to my dear "Aristocrat" grandmother who has lived long enough to know what truly is important, and therefore I find it so much more meaningful that she be the one who remains here in my life - giving me what I so longed to hear from her ages ago as a child.

Many thanks to my buddy Rich at work who burned me 34 of  the very retro-sounding The Black Keys songs and made them jump to one of my fav driving CD's.

See the moonlight shinin',
On your window pane,
See it leave you,
As faithful as it came,
Please yourself,

So you don't have to,
Be afraid,
Make amends,
Or carry on another way,
Another way,
Oh~oh,

The Lengths - by the Black Keys



8.0 out of 10
13.5% alc. by vol. 
$10 / 750 ml.

RED Splash

2007
Sonoma County
St. Francis Winery
Santa Rosa, California

It's been a long time.

PAY ATTENTION PLEASE. If you would like a sure thing wine to bring to a friend's house who may have slightly discerning tastes when it comes to red wine, bring this. It will cost you $11, but it will easily taste like you spent $20.

This beautiful blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Syrah, Cabernet Franc and Zinfandel was so worth the smaller amount spent. This is my new favorite red wine for the buck. In the past, my cheap go-to has been given to McManis,Cupcake, and Root: 1. This outweighs those.

It has heat. It is peppery. But it also has a warm, lasting finish with earth tones and wood spices. The finish really lingers and the flavor stays with it.

I have always gravitated towards blends. I absolutely prefer them in general.


I devote this post to my grandmother. I realized this week, as I sat in a hospital recovery room with her, how much she means to me. She is my last surviving grandparent. But, more than that, she is so very endearing. She has changed much over the years - all for the better. She is gentler, kinder, more compassionate, emotional, and filled with gratefulness. She is also VERY beautiful. She is 91 years old and I don't think I could ever say that about any other 91 year old woman.


I walked into that recovery room and spotted her immediately. She was still somewhat out, with her head bandaged fully and wrapped under her chin (she had skin cancer removed from her scalp, and leg too). She insisted on going in with her lipstick on. I saw this beautiful, bandaged woman with the rose petal lipstick lying with a peaceful, childlike look on her face, eyes closed, and my heart just melted. It melted because I immediately saw my great-grandmother (her mother) and all my old memories of my great-grandmother GGB collided with my more recent memories of her daughter, my grandmother lying in recovery. I could never fully explain to someone who doesn't know her just how special she is. She speaks her mind. She is resilient. She insists on being independent. She is classy. She is flirtatious. She is a cat lover. She is life-educated. She knows how precious life is. She is respectful of those who are in return respectful. She has Skype and answers E-mails. She never stops learning. In short, she is truly amazing.

She talked candidly with me the night before surgery as we sat in her living room. I arrived just before nine and she should have been in bed, but she wanted to wait up for me and see if she could make me something to eat. Always the hostess. I just wanted water and we sat on the couch. She told me she figures she's got about 3 years left to her life. She is not emotional as she speaks of this. And I am sad as I sit and listen and realize how incredibly courageous she is. She is matter-of-fact. Yet she acts so young and still has her wits about her that it is difficult to comprehend her not being here for at least 10 more years (and if anyone can do so, she can). 

She is not sad, she is grateful - for the life she has had. She was married to my grandfather for over 50 years and she spent 10 years as a widow upon his death in 1995. Then she met her wonderful second husband who I loved so much. They were perfect together. She was 89 and he was 90-something when they married a few years ago. He died last year after a brief encounter with skin cancer that had metastasized to his brain. So both my grandmother and I were once again cognizant of his struggles as she followed somewhat the same path of skin cancer removal and testing at the same hospital he had been at. Her news is good - they got it all and it was Squamous, not Melanoma. 

The hospital we were at, besides being the hospital that cared for her recently deceased husband, was also the hospital my grandfather (her first husband) had an office in. He was an OBGYN there and spent many years in those halls. I went down to the cafe at the front entrance during my grandmother's surgery and sipped an iced tea and just stared at the lobby and thought of my grandfather coming through those doors for so many years. I walked the same halls he walked. And now his wife lay upstairs on an operating table. I found myself praying to him, and her second husband, and God as well. 


Initially, as we went through all of the pre-op questions and visits from nurses and the doctor and then the anesthesiologist, she would ask each new employee we encountered: "Did you know my first husband?" (It wasn't that long ago that most people in the medical field affiliated with the hospital did indeed recognize his name.) Sadly, everyone said no. But then, the anesthesiologist surprised us. He did not work with my grandfather at the hospital, but he did know him, and he knew her. He lived in a house with an apartment that housed my great-grandmother (my grandmother's mother) for a bit. Not only that, but he was the one who called my grandparents one day when my great-grandmother fell, over 40 years ago. Finally - a connection! Her whole face lit up as she remembered that day, and him, and I felt as if it was a visit from my great-grandmother herself and I just knew that everything was going to be all right.  

And, indeed, I knew she was a-okay when, as I was feeding her ice chips she exclaimed in a raspy, tired voice: "I'd feel a lot better if you'd give me a Rum Tiddly instead"!!!! :) 

But seeing her bandaged and coming out of surgical fog, was emotional for me. For so many reasons. Mostly, I realized how in awe of her I am and how much I hope I can be as strong and determined as she is if I should live to see that age. She is inspiring to say the least.

It's been a long time,
Since you wore your pillbox hat
It's been a long time
Since we drove your Po-o-o-o-o-ontiac

--It's Been A Long Time--    CAKE!

8.25 out of 10
$11 / 750 ml. bottle
14.5% alc. by vol.