Paso Robles, CA
Los Osos
Yeah, so, it's been quite awhile. Not sure what possessed me to attempt to write even tonight. Just wanted to post something more recent then what? April? Too lazy to take my own picture (hey, my camera needs to be recharged), I resorted to the internet for a few photos.
In the summer, I tend to gravitate to very chilled, headier whites, mostly Chardonnay. But the more recent (slight) heat spell broke today & there's a hint of fall in the air. So I went back to a recent favorite standby red that I haven't covered recently. J Lohr's Merlot. I can count on it tasting good when I am looking for some flavor without spending a lot. This is a classic spicy, woodsy, berry bomb. Good on its own, this also went well with my organic turkey burger smothered in Saga Blue Brie, sauteed Baby Bella mushrooms and Vidalia onion, and chopped fresh avocado.
So I've been away from it all for at least a bit. Writer's block, nothing spectacular to drink, children beginning to flee the nest. My eldest is getting ready to head off to college; far, far away. :( She is determined. She is confident. I admire her. I pray for her. I am mixed up with crazy feelings. Missing babies so very bad (wishing so much that I could adopt), I can't believe my first little baby is heading off to college - long distance nevertheless. But my gut tells me I think she has made the right choice for herself. She is so much more mature than I was at her age. I was still attached to the apron's strings. She longs for independence and her future life. We are not well-traveled and she is willing to bust forward, no holds barred. And that is so incredibly awesome. I am envious.
I look in the mirror. I see "the lines on my face getting clearer" to quote Steven Tyler (Aerosmith). I feel so much, from positive, to negative, then back to positive again. Sometimes, back to negative. I can't believe I am officially middle-aged now. And my babies are growing up and moving out. Even my little one has suddenly sprung up this summer. She's gone from still looking like my "little one" to looking on the verge of a teen. I am shocked. I wonder where the time went. I struggle. I celebrate.
I watched my middle one tonight as I pumped gas at a local grocery store. The same kid who maturely discussed with me her upcoming challenging school schedule and her own plans for her eventual Senior year's (rather impressive) schedule, as well as her hopes for college in Quebec, just days ago (I know what she's doing. I have always been interested in Canada. I do believe my middle one is going to go to school there, graduate, & become a citizen, opening the door for me/us to follow). So, she hung out of my car with cell phone in the air looking for service in the boondocks. In frustration, she got out of the car to get a signal. Meanwhile, I was in conversation with the cute, young kid at the window about how the grocery store was now up for sale after so many years. Then, as my daughter clung to her cell phone, I pumped gas. Suddenly I hear her squeal in delight and scream: "Matt!!!!" And she runs to the window to talk to the same cute, young kid I was just conversing with. I smile to myself as I see this new side to my middle child. She rests her chin on her hands in the little payment window & bats her eyelashes and talks up a storm. I finish pumping gas & get in the car and look busy to buy them more time. She eventually comes bouncing back to the car. She knows him from school. He's a year older. It's no big deal. And yet, the scenario portrays so much of the future to her mother. Geez! Like I didn't just go through this with her older sister! I thought I was going to get a break inbetween! :0
I went out a few weeks ago with my husband's cousin. We discussed how his kids just want to stick around. I was admiring that. He said he thinks it's due to the "purse strings". I was jealous. My kids (at least my two older ones) talk about getting out and away. It makes me sad, but I know I need to be proud. It would not make me happy to have the alternative - to have them not want to go. I guess I should be happy that they have the confidence to look forward to branching out on their own.
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
North is to South what the clock is to time
There's East and there's West and there's everywhere life
I know that I was born and I know that I'll die
In between is mine
I am mine
I Am Mine, Pearl Jam
Yes - see the fellow below? This just cracks me up. I was looking for J Lohr 2010 Merlot images & this random guy came up in my search. I have no idea who Mr. Comfortably Numb is, but this pic just made me smile so I had to include it here.
8.0 out of 10
$14 / 750 ml. bottle
13.5% alc. by vol.
